Unwritten

I was going to write an exemplar, but my words ran away with me and this got way too long and too personal to just submit as an exemplar . . .

To my judge mentor:

The time and effort that you have invested in me as a judge surpasses anything I could have ever imagined. From our first tentative talks where you told me to bring my husband along, our relationship has come a long way.

After I failed my first L1, you never let me stop working and learning. You dragged me through the intricacies of combat, first strike, double strike, protection, and trample. You encouraged me to keep applying to events, keep studying, and keep asking questions. (You even answered all those questions!) And above all, you repeated the mantra, "You ARE a judge." enough times that I actually started to believe it.

I could not have survived the stressful days leading up to my second L1 test without you. When I was in tears, you encouraged me. When I wanted to quit, you said you hoped I didn't. When I almost decided not to show up, the thought of disappointing you made me keep going. Somehow I dragged myself to that judge conference and took that test. And then, Nate wouldn't tell me how I did. I saw you at lunch, where I was far too nervous to eat, and you acted like you didn't know anything. After lunch you led me to that tiny room, silently closed the door, and solemnly told me to sit down. I think I can honestly say that is the most nervous I have ever been in my life. When you said, "I want to be the first person to congratulate you on becoming a judge" I just about fainted. Anger. Fear. Relief. And somewhere the insane thought that you had lied to me before about being a judge before passing the test.

Since that day you have continued to answer my innumerable questions (1 at a time) and never seem to tire of reiterating the details I yearn to understand. You have shared your wisdom as a judge and as Area Captain, even letting me help plan a local judge meet-up. You don't mind explaining things to me, including the how, and the why. The depth of our conversations helps me add the details to my skills that give polish to my work.

As I approached L2, your attitude towards my advancement shifted. You became distant and never encouraged me to test. You said that I would know when I was ready. You suggested that I not rush things. I took your hesitation as a sign that I was unprepared. I put off testing because I awaited your approval.

When we finally first worked together at Star City, you nearly made me laugh when you called me an experienced member of our team. It took some time to sink in that you were right. Those words took on a new meaning throughout the day as I realized that things were coming together and I felt confident on the floor delivering rulings, passing out slips, helping players, and flipping rounds. While working with you I realized how similarly we approach things and can see your influence in my 'style' of judging. I'm proud that I take after my mentor.

After that, I felt more ready to move forward, but still lacked your explicit statement of my readiness. My test came as a surprise, even to me! After I passed, I only wanted to tell 1 person - YOU. I needed some time to let that achievement sink in, but I couldn't wait to share it with you because you share in the accomplishment just as you shared in the work to get me there.

Much bigger than all of my judging achievements though, is our friendship. More than just a mentor, you serve as a confidant, a sounding board, a safe place to vent, and a smile when I need cheering. We talked about everything (pretty much literally everything) from the deeply personal to the mundane to the comical and theoretical, and you are always there to listen and share your thoughts. As you said, "lol, I seriously doubt at this point that leaving the program would make either of stop talking to the other."