We met playing World of Warcraft online. (If you are not familiar, it's a massively multiplayer online role-playing game, or MMORPG.) I was the leader of a large, competitive raiding guild. He was a player looking for a new guild home. Three years of playing together later, he was the Raid Leader (a very prestigious role) in the guild and we worked together to run the group, along with the help of some exceptional officers (Penimus). I attended an unrelated conference in his city . . . and he asked me on a date. He ended up moving to Texas to be with me. We took a 3 week tour to drive around the country and stay with many of our raiders (Blizzazed). He proposed at Blizzcon in 2010 in front of some of our raiders (Paz). Then, we retired from WoW and settled down to start a family. Those were some good years in terms of our lives - we had 2 kids, bought a beautiful home, he found a great job and started working on a degree, etc. But they were some tough years in terms of our relationship with each other. The strains of daily life, kids, mortgage payments, college, etc. took their toll. We drifted apart even while living together. We shared common goals and both strove to meet them. We both did our parts to make life work, but it was work. Somehow, we lost the 'spark.'
Two years ago, some of Brian's friends invited us to play Magic: the gathering, a trading card game. Brian took to it immediately and before long was attending (and winning) tournaments. I was a bit slower to come around. I tried to be supportive, but I think I only succeeded in being mildly resentful, and jealous. He went to play every Friday night, and some weekend days too, leaving me alone. It wouldn't have been as bad, but with work and school I barely saw him anyway. I began to hate the game.
One day Brian and I talked. More accurately, he called me out. He reminded me that we met playing a game. He was a gamer when I met him, and so was I. He proposed at a gaming conference. Many of our best memories were from our gaming days. Wow! (ok, pun intended) That hit me pretty hard. He was right. And I changed. I stopped giving him a hard time about playing and became much more supportive.
One Friday night, I went to watch him play. It was fun. Enough fun that I gave the game another try. It still took almost a year of intermittent play for me to come around, but last May I played in a huge competitive tournament with him in Las Vegas, and my spark ignited. After that trip I couldn't wait to play again. The passion for the game began to consume me as I learned the rules, tried new decks, and attended every Friday night that I could get a babysitter. Now don't get me wrong, there were frustrations: complicated rules, lack of babysitting, expensive entry fees, and I am still not allowed in the group chat due to my gender. But overall, the good outweighed the bad, and excepting the time I took off when our third child was born, I've played weekly since.
Saturday and Sunday we played a lot of Magic, and I overheard a lot of guys talking about their wives being mad at them for playing, or discussing what they had to do to get their wives to let them come. It made me sad that these men had to beg, bribe, or sneak to enjoy a hobby. Saturday night we piled into a too small Uber for a night of fajitas and margaritas, and had a blast. Sunday morning came early, but we all survived the day. As I drove home that night, with a carload of sleeping guys, it hit me . . . when we are gaming together we are sharing a passion, not just a purpose.
I'm so lucky to be married to a man that not only invites me to join him, but encourages me to pursue my own interests as well. As with WoW, we each play our own way and do our own thing, but sometimes a mid-round shoulder rub, or holding hands in the registration line is a nice bonus too! So after some trial and error and a 3 year gaming drought, I realized that I where I most want to be is playing by his side.
